Currently I’m reading several books simultaneously. One is a long novel of nearly 1,000 pages. I have heard from fellow readers that it’s one of their favorites. After sitting on one of my shelves for years, I finally decided now was the time to read it. I’m halfway through it, but it is a behemoth book. I’m a pretty fast reader but this one is taking me quite a bit of time.
But it got me to thinking. I asked myself, “If you had to pick ten books (regardless of genre) that have impacted you most profoundly, what would they be?”
Spoiler Alert: I could not limit it to ten, so . . .
Here’s what I came up with (not necessarily in order of importance):
Hamlet (Shakespeare)
Julius Caesar (Shakespeare)
Macbeth (Shakespeare)
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Joyce)
Absalom, Absalom! (Faulkner)
The Brothers Karamazov (Dostoyevsky)
The Complete Short Stories (O’Connor)
All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy)
The Road (McCarthy)
Suttree (McCarthy)
The Crossing (McCarthy)
David Copperfield (Dickens)
Great Expectations (Dickens)
Crime and Punishment (Dostoyevsky)
Stoner (Williams)
The Catcher in the Rye (Salinger)
Madame Bovary (Flaubert)
Your thoughts? Do you have books that you really have never been able to shake, books that you can’t now imagine not being part of you?
Today after one of the breakout sessions, a sweet spirit seemed to have been sent among several of us through the morning. It seemed to come from both outside of us and from within us. Walls began to come down. We spoke not of our educational or professional pedigrees. Rather we began with questions like, “So, what’s next for you, Craig?” or “So, what’s God calling you to, Gary?” or “How do you guys define ‘calling'”?The questions came regularly, and so did the ruminations. It was iron sharpening iron. That’s what Solomon called it: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Pr 27:17).
We had lunch together. We ate our chili dogs and salads and drank our coffee and water. We spoke of our ministries. Some were in hospital chaplaincy. Others were military chaplains. Others were prison chaplains. Some others of us were pastors/elders and/or professors or teachers. The group was chock-full with years of experience in ministry and its myriad locations. We were all sponges–both absorbing what we were hearing and also being squeezed so that we poured into one another. My intellectual, emotional, and spiritual cups were being filled by these brothers.
Later as I drove back to billeting, I came across a creek, pulled my vehicle over, got out, and went and took in the sight and sounds of the creek I’ve crossed multiple times this week. Why? To give thanks, in short. To thank God for his common grace. To quote one of the great catechisms, “God’s providence is His completely holy, wise, and powerful preserving and governing every creature and every action.” In other words, no accidents. This is not a random cosmos. We are creatures (hence, there is a Creator) who are gifted with intellectual capacities in order to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. And one of the ways God’s providence plays out in history is via simple yet profound things like deep and kind conversations among fellow pilgrims on the way.
I stood on the bank of the creek and snapped another picture and spoke my heart silently over the sounds of the waters. Just to say, Thank you for today, Lord.
Thank you that I have new contacts in my phone, men I can call and who can call me, fellow ministers/chaplains/pastors who can hug me and say, “I get it. I truly do. Let’s walk together.”
I’m back now, and headed to PT in the gym. Got to sweat of the child dog from lunch. But I take us back to wise words penned by another who likewise understood the need for encouragement: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2). To my fellow brothers, thank you for making this theology visible.
Day two of training is now completed for me in this iteration here in KY. Good training today. Beautiful weather here on a beautiful seminary campus.
I had the privilege of being in a briefing with a buddy of mine with whom I did CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) and we got to spend some time together in the afternoon and walk and talk. He’s a retired Army 1SG and chaplain, and now serves with our endorsing agency as a conduit for chaplains.
When Michael was teaching today, he said something that really resonated with me: “Calendar the stewardship of your life.” I found that a very wise statement. Why? I think it’s because if you don’t schedule your life wisely, you will waste your life on things of lesser significance. (Piper’s phrase and book about not wasting one’s life come to mind.)
Michael ribbed me because he knew I was a calendar guy. I carry a literal spiral notebook-calendar. I love it. Why? Well, it keeps me structured: 0630 for this; 0900 for that; 1100 for this; 1300 for that, etc. I note my readings, my appointments, my Scriptures for that day, etc. It works for me.
But here’s where Michael got me to see something. He asked, “You’re being the chaplain to everyone else, but where do you go? Why does everyone else get a resource but you don’t think you need one? How is that not vanity?”
Mic drop; that’s what that was for me. Then he said this: “Calendar the stewardship of your life.” Again, I was floored inside. Yep, I’m the calendar guy. I write it all down. I’d be a terrible criminal, because I have written down nearly everything that matters to me–what I’m reading, what I’m dealing with, what engagements I have, etc. in order to manage it all. But it exacts a toll. We can find ourselves exhausted on behalf of others, and depleted on the inside.
We can work oursevles to a frazzle. And for what? For whom? We’re replaced, and life goes on. That may sound harsh, but it’s nonetheless true. Michael, you taught me today, brother. I need to learn to calendar the stewardship of my life. Thank you.
As part of my job, I’m currently in the Commonwealth of Kentucky. For many reasons, I have a deep affection for this Commonwealth of Kentucky. I love its hills, many of its writers, where I spent some years in seminary for one of my graduate degrees, and for many of the people I’ve known and continue to know here. There are more reasons, but those are some of them.
Today en route to the Lexington region, I stopped for a quick lunch of fried chicken (it’s KY, after all), and as I waited for my order to be processed, I gazed around at the words and images on the restaurant’s interior. I was shaken by the one pictured above.
Why? For me, it’s theological. That word grace is weighty. In Greek, it’s χάρις. That’s karis in English transliteration. In the original, it means “divine favor.” Let that sink in–to be favored by God. To be shown favor by the Divine. Unmerited favor. Undeserved mercy. It’s God’s love in spite of our sinfulness. It’s 2 Corinthians 5:21, in other words: “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
What struck me was the battle I was in while at the fried chicken place. The boy who worked the front cash register was impish, rude, and seemingly uninterested in my spending my money there, or in any way offering me customer-friendly service. He was curt, petulant, and cocky.
And yet there was that plaque on the wall. How ironic. Why this test, Lord? I thought. But I was friendly and respectful towards the young man in spite of his treatment of me. I paid, got my meal, ate, cleaned up afterwards, and exited. I walked back to my car and drove on towards the Lexington area.
Grace. Grace. Grace.
It’s easy to pass the language courses for some. To learn the case endings and nuances and tenses, etc. That’s just part of learning any language. But to live out grace in daily life–that’s much harder. That tests one’s mettle. That’s where we make our theology visible. That’s where we see that what’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.
Sometimes I don’t know how deeply I needed to get away. This week has been a reminder. CJ and I took our daughter, son, and granddaughter to the Florida panhandle for some sand, surf, sun, and seafood. We missed our son-in-law, but he had to work his job. But that gives us a new goal for next time.
The weather was spectacular. Sunny, a slight breeze, and occasionally a brief thunderstorm. But the sands were white, the temperatures were hot, and the water was fine.
I read several pieces while here–more of McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove, all of Levi’s Theo of Golden, and a Sinclair Ferguson volume a friend from church gave me, Union with Christ.
Plus we were able to enjoy some seafood. (A dozen raw oysters with hot sauce were just what the doctor ordered.)
We were able to put our granddaughter in the pool and be part of her first beach trip. She was amazing. (Of course I am completely unbiased.)
Below are some of photos I snapped during our time. Until next time, FL; thanks for the spiritual recharge.
(The above picture was taken while I sat under our canopy and watched some fellow vacationers.)
(This palm was just off our condo’s outside deck.)
(This was just before an evening thunderstorm rolled in.)
(Some of our granddaughter’s beach toys.)
(I had a lot of folks prod me to read this book. It was beautiful. I read it in one day; it was that moving. Bottom line up front: goodness and beauty matter.)
(My view on another day.)
CJ, my favorite sun bunny.
(Walking onto the beach from our condo.)
(My CJ after rinsing off our granddaughter’s toys.)
Lonesome Dove is the main book I’m currently reading. But it is about 900 pages in length. 858 to be precise. And the font is, I’m speculating, about 10-point Times New Roman. I felt the need to get up and peruse some other books. Augustus and Deets and Call and the other fellas would be here when I got back.
“I’m going to go to one of the bookstores,” I said to CJ.
“Oh, you need another one?” she quipped.
“No, I just need to see what’s out there. There’s a Barnes & Noble and a Books-A-Million just down the way. I’ll be back in a few,” I said.
I grabbed my wallet, laced up my On Cloud running shoes, borrowed our daughter’s car keys, kissed CJ on the cheek, walked out the door, boarded the elevator, and walked towards her vehicle downstairs in the parking lot.
A summer rain had been on and off again throughout the day. The sky was that muggy FL haze common in summer. The traffic was light but constant on US HWY 98 between Destin and Panama City. I read the tags on the vehicles: TN, TX, KY, GA, and lots of local FL ones.
Fifteen minutes later I arrived at the Barnes & Noble. I walked in, eager to see how this one would be arranged book-wise. Again I was disapppointed to see there was no Classics section. Instead there were sections of Manga, Mystery/Thriller/True Crime, Romance and Fantasy, Bibles, New Age, Philosophy, a small Poetry section, and sections for what Barnes & Noble called Young Readers. And there was all manner of gifts–journals, coffee cups, bookmarks, stationery, pens, toys, etc.
Once I discovered that the classics would be hard to find, I went to the Fiction section and looked for what I took as the basics they’d surely have. I did at last find some Dickens, Faulkner, Hemingway, McCarthy, McMurtry, Powers, and Wharton, and Whitman. Hope, at last.
I pulled Powers’ Bewilderment off the shelf and read the first few paragraphs. Like his other books, I found them marvelous and instructive. Powers is focused on what’s being done to the natural world in the name of progress, and he has my ear.
A young man in his twenties appproached near where I stood reading. He kept getting closer and closer, such that I looked up to see if I was perhaps in his way, perhaps blocking his view. He never made eye contact. But he kept standing right next to me. It gave me what my deceased grandfather called the “heeby-jeebies,” so I reshelved the Powers novel and moved on to the Poetry section and perused some Whitman and other poets.
After the creeper moved on, I returned to the Fiction section and thumbed through some familiar literary friends’ books–Larry McMurtry, Edith Wharton, William Gaddis. I lost track of time. I knew CJ and the family would be making jokes of my being in a bookstore and likely would have wagered I’d return with a bag of purchases. But I didn’t give in. I simply made note of volumes I’ve yet to read, but that had caught my interest. There was one called Mailman by Grant that looked like a fun read. Plus I love the region that served as its primary setting.
Nothing really stood out to me–other than the fact that reading seems to be marketed to what sells, not necessarily what is actually lasting and good. Maybe that’s just the old codger coming out in me. That lament has probably been part of bibliophiles’ sentiment since Gutenberg blessed the world during the Reformation.
Back at the beach house now. The sun has popped out. And I’m back with McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove and saddled in with Call and Gus and the boys en route to Montana, to see what happens.
We’re going out for seafood this evening. CJ will want some (no, many!) crab legs, and I’ll be on the hunt for grouper and shrimp.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life,” Churchill wrote. Modern-day heroes are few. They’re here, of course. But most models of heroism are relegated to imagined characters for television and film. Fewer and fewer have a grandpa or uncle who was a hero. For many nowadays, they have to look up to imaginary Marvel characters like Spider-Man, Iron Man, or Captain America. Let that sink in: millions of Westerners worship made-up cartoon characters. They quote the films; they buy the swag; they spend billions supporting that industry. I’m for free markets; so spend your money as you like. No issue here regarding what you do with your money. But what it reveals is a hunger deep within the human spirit.
We long for heroes. We long for models, for paradigms of bravery, selflessness, and moral courage. The theologian Augustine famousely wrote, “Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in Thee” in his Confessions. And Solomon wrote that God “put eternity into man’s heart” (Eccl 3:11, ESV). Pascal famously wrote that man has a “God-shaped hole/vacuum” within him only God is sufficient to fill.
This Sunday I’ll be leading the saints of Christ Covenant Church (3cs-canton.org) in one of the most packed pericopes of Scripture. It’s 2 Peter 2. What’s it about? False teachers. Just a few years after Jesus’s resurrection, already churches were corrupted by nefarious leaders. Already. How much more do we need to be careful, therefore? There are those who mislead people for selfish gain. Sadly, we do not have to look far to find pastors who ask for raises again and again, who ask for more vacations, who ask for time away, for sabbaticals, for allowances, and inculcate an enviornment where there’s accountability for everyone else but not for them, et al. They see themselves as special, as exempt. “Rules for thee, but not for me.”
Peter begins chapter two this way: “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction” (2 Pt 2:1, ESV). The Bible addresses false teachers head-on because God knows the damage they inflict upon congregations. Peter says that “in their greed they will exploit you” (2 Pt 2:3, ESV).
If you have an enemy because you take stands for truth, you are blessed. “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Mt 5:12, ESV). We could do for more heroes, I agree. But we need to be wise about who merits that moniker. More than likely, he won’t be the one demanding comfort and protection. He’ll be the one taking care of the sheep. We are to look forward with wise hope, knowing that it’s a good thing to have the right enemies. That’s a sign we’re doing things God’s way.
Questions: Ever known of someone diagnosed with PTSD? Ever known of someone who failed to address trauma in a healthy way? Ever known of someone you could see was struggling to find productive ways to process events?
It is likely you answered yes to at least one of those questions. Perhaps you answered yes to all three. If we are honest, all of us likely know of at least one person who battles this. Perhaps it’s even you.
Connection to Scripture: In 1 Kings 19, we have the account of Elijah (God’s prophet, God’s man) fleeing. Yes, you read that correctly. He fled from wicked Jezebel. Why? I mean, wasn’t Elijah literally just coming down from a mountaintop experience where he was used by God in a miraculous way? God utterly devastated false religion. The pagans were slaughtered. God’s holiness was vindicated. And Elijah was used by God in ways that rivaled and perhaps surpassed even the events in which God used Moses earlier. By all accounts, we would think that Elijah would have renewed faith, that he’d be riding high in his spiritual walk with the Lord. But instead we find a man who is utterly spent, exhausted, and emotionally wrung out. He has PTSD. He flees when he should ostensibly be feeling invincible and at peace.
Scripture:
19 Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.
4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 5 And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” 6 And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 8 And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.
The Lord Speaks to Elijah 9 There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 11 And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.[a] 13 And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 14 He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” 15 And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. 16 And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. 17 And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. 18 Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” (1 Kings 19:1-18, ESV)
Encouragement: Sometimes after intense emotional highs and/or lows, we need to remember something: decompression and rest are essential. Do we know how to switch off and just rest? Really rest. For me, I hike, or read, or fish, or kayak. For Elijah, he needed to be reminded that he wasn’t alone, that God had his people then. And he has his people still today. “Taking a knee” is a spiritual discipline we need as soldiers in uniform and as soldiers of God.
3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. (Isaiah 26:3-4, ESV)
Context, Context, Context:
Isaiah was God’s prophet during the ascent of Assyria and the decline of Judah in the 700s B.C. His message was plain: the holiness and glory of God and his righteous hatred of idolatry/religiosity devoid of the truth.
Always when truth is proclaimed, when righteousness is called for, a winnowing occurs. What’s down in the well of people comes up in the bucket. Pressure reveals what we are like as people. Some will reveal resentment and seek to destroy; others will cling to the Lord and seek to encourage the saints.
That’s where these lines from Isaiah are so germane and helpful. Isaiah writes that “the Lord will keep him in perfect peace” whose mind is fixed upon the Lord. Why? Because the man or woman of God trusts the Lord, the everlasting rock.
Yesterday at church, we sang “From Everlasting [Psalm 90]” by Sovereign Grace. And typical of the music of Sovereign Grace, it is rooted in Scripture. Psalm 90:2 reads as follows:
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
Unlike sinners, God is steadfast, constant, and unchanging. And the man or woman of God who longs for biblical shalom will trust God rather than man. That’s what Christ taught, too, of course: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27, ESV).
Encouragement: There are many metaphors used in Scripture to describe the Lord–water, light, bread, Good Shepherd, on and on. But the one Isaiah uses here is that the Lord is an “everlasting rock.” He’s the Rock of Ages–steadfast, constant, and trustworthy. For God’s people, we are given the peace/shalom of God, and our lives will bear that out.
MIND & MATTERS 