When I was pastoring a church I had a friend in the congregation named Paul, and Paul taught me a great lesson. He told me, “Jon, you sow the seed but only God tills the heart.”

Why was that so foundational for me and what does that have to do with motifs of hope? Follow me.

I had been enduring one of my curses in life–battling sleeplessness and spending more than a healthy amount of time studying the Scriptures in order to pour into a congregation, only to learn that most of the congregation did not care for what the Scriptures had to say.

In addition to pastoring, I was teaching English full-time at a school, serving in the military as a chaplain, teaching Sunday school, leading midweek Bible studies, doing outreach, trying to be a good husband and dad, was in school earning another graduate degree, and on and on. And I was exhausted.

But I pressed on. I labored day in and day out for those people, and I was doing it for the Lord.

But that’s where things got tricky. I was doing it for the Lord, yes. But when the Lord did not do certain things the way I sometimes desired; or when the Lord did not cause certain people to be overwhelmed by His sovereignty the way I wanted; or when … You get the idea.

I wore myself out in ministry, in study, in teaching, in pouring into folks, and for what?

I learned the hard way that I was the one who needed to learn the lesson about God’s sovereignty.

It is only God, as my friend Paul told me, who truly and definitively changes a person’s nature, his heart/soul/core … or what in Greek is the ψυχή, soul.

An example may help. Think of the English word psychology. Literally, it means the “language” (logos) of the soul (psychí). That’s what the gospel does. It changes a person’s soul. It regnerates him. It takes a person from being the living dead to being spiritually alive to God. People hostile to God on a Monday are supernaturally reborn by a monergistic work of God on a Tuesday, for example. Suddenly, they have eyes to see what they were hitherto blind to. Suddenly, they see spiritual warfare for what it is. Suddenly, they see Jesus Christ, not as a swear word, but as the Savior of sinners.

Today I did what is perhaps my favorite thing in the world: I opened the Bible with people I have grown to love. They were fellow soldiers. We have been going through the Gospel of John verse by verse. And today we finished the book.

I read the text. We listened to Pilate’s words to Jesus and to the Jews. We listened to Jesus rebuke Pilate and tell him who actually has all authority (Hint: it’s not human government). We watched as Judas betrayed the Lord. We watched Doubting Thomas demand to touch Jesus’s side before he would believe. We watched Jesus talk to Mary while still in the tomb, post-resurrection. We watched Jesus be crucified between two criminals. We watched Jesus eat fish on the shores of the lake in northern Israel with weak-faithed disciples. And on and on.

And my guys saw it. They listened to me read and teach. We all listened to the Lord and His Word.

And my spirit wanted to shout, “Yes, Lord; You are gripping them! You are giving eyes to see!”

But I also heard my old friend Paul’s words from all those years ago: “Jon, you sow the seed but only God tills the heart.” Yes and amen.

But, Lord, please till. And I will tell of Your works.

Today I am pinching myself. Our daughter turned 25 today.

I’m proud of her. She is completely self-sufficient. She works hard. She has her own place. She enjoys her giftings and puts them to good use.

I know few people who love animals as much as I do, but she rivals my affections for the critters, that’s for sure, and maybe surpasses them.

I think back on her girlhood years–the years of soccer practices, of youth retreats with church, of track and field events, of cheerleading, and of years in church together when she was just a little girl.

Now she’s all grown. But the older I grow as a parent, I understand more and more how we always long to keep them, in a sense, under our wings and shelter our offspring.

But we taught her well. She has grown to need us less and less, at least in certain ways, and that’s the way it should be.

Happy birthday, Taylor Ray. We love you. Enjoy your day.

Today I had one of my life’s greatest joys. Here’s the shortened version of the story.

He was a former student where I taught English. He was always intellectually curious and zealous. He asked the hard questions. He was Socrates-like, unafraid to ask the difficult questions, to press the issues for the truth.

He has since grown up, married, become a husband to his wonderful wife, a father of sons, provider, Christian, and budding theologian.

He reads voraciously and deeply. Not the trendy stuff of most of today’s TGC/wokester speaking circuit glory boys, but the truth-tellers of old who have endured: Athanasius, Calvin, Lloyd-Jones, Jonathan Edwards, John Owen, Luther, Spurgeon, etc.

We talked again today. I was reminded of how and why I love him, of how Paul loved Timothy.

Ruth clung to Naomi during the dark times of literal famine and widowhood. And I learned–once again–from a young man I see working out his salvation in fear and trembling, that God is faithful.

He reminded me of my young friend, fighting the good fight of the faith, of the deposit entrusted to him, the truth delivered, once for all, unto the saints.

Press on, dear brother. God has you. And there is no more thrilling, worthwhile, and truthful place to be than in the will of the One who upholds all things.

One of my favorite scenes down by the creek.

One of my greatest blessings is coming to love men and women who love Christ, love his church, and understand what it means to steward creation.

Once again, thanks to my friend Jim, his stewardship of God’s world, (and some good photography skills), we all get to enjoy these via thanksgiving.

Thank you, dear one. See you in the morning at Sunday school and church.

Episode 1: The Apocryphal Books: What They Are & Why They’re Not Canonical

Episode 2: Is the God of the New Testament Different from the God of the Old Testament?

Episode 3: The Trinity: Father, Son, & Holy Spirit

Episode 4: How & Why Has the World Gone Crazy? (Part I)

Episode 5: How & Why Has the World Gone Crazy? (Part II)

I went for a walk/jog this evening just before the showers popped up. A couple of pretty girls were out munching grasses near the trail, too. A few paces further, I was looking down at the creek. The smell of rain was in the air, the skies heavy and ominous.

From my friend Jim, enjoy six shots that capture beauty.

I make no apologies for some things. I love freedom. I love America’s founding principles. I love the triune God of the Bible. I love my wife and children. I love my church family. I love my committed Sunday school class members. They, too, assemble on the Lord’s Day each week and at other times of the week, to worship, to serve the body, to bear witness, to learn, to pray, to encourage one another. 

And I, a soldier for 20+ years, am a patriot, in the truest sense of the term. I love the soil I know so well; I love localities and the ways in which local accents of my people vary from region to region. I love the way fellow motorcyclists often wear patriotic bandanas or have license plates displaying their service to brothers they served with in WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf, Bosnia, Kosovo, and the Balkans, Iraq, Afghanistan, and other locations. 

Patriot, when you trace it linguistically, is rooted in the idea of a “fellow countryman” and patrios, “of one’s fathers,” and patris or “fatherland.” It’s of the soil, local, folks one knows, people you’ve likely shared a meal with. 

Within the last two weeks, I, along with scores of Christians, sang lyrics that go something like this: 

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed His grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet,

Whose stern, impassioned stress

A thoroughfare for freedom beat

Across the wilderness!

America! America!

God mend thine every flaw,

Confirm thy soul in self-control,

Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved

In liberating strife,

Who more than self their country loved

And mercy more than life!

America! America!

May God thy gold refine,

Till all success be nobleness,

And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream

That sees beyond the years

Thine alabaster cities gleam

Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!

God shed His grace on thee

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

Here is the sad irony, however. My country has grown unrecognizable to me, at least in many cases. God has shed his grace on my country, but I don’t recognize my country. It’s become a Tyre and Sidon, a Sodom and Gomorrah. 

Not the men I serve with day-in and day-out; they are patriots. They work unbelievably long hours, serve many, many nights alone and away from their families. They sleep little, run and ruck much, mentor future soldiers, deploy, stress their bodies’ physical limits, endure suffering, give up holidays with families, deploy again, endure separation, endure much physical and emotional trauma, and, by and large, no one knows—except their inner circle. 

And then you have this sort of … stuff: 

America’s second-largest school district is teaming up with various left-wing organizations to promote child transgenderism.

The article, not unique, is footnoted for you, if you dare. This is where your tax dollars go. Am I alone in thinking that this is reprobation displayed? Men in drag? Transgenderism indoctrination of children? 

When I was a child, I learned about sexuality from my parents. I learned from the Bible, not from homosexual men dressed up in carnival attire who promoted ‘gender fluidity’ and cross-dressing and ‘trans’-genderism. (Remember: he who controls the dictionary rules the world.)

You think it doesn’t affect you? Okay. You may want to rethink that position.

God shed his grace on us? Really? Like the song says? Yes, I believe he did. But we’ve squandered it. We’ve opposed grace. We’ve tried to dethrone design. Most refuse and suppress God’s way. We reap the whirlwind (Hosea 8:7). 

Alarmist? Narrow? Judgmental? One could go on with the adjectival accusations. But I have a question: Is it true? 

Awake yet?

You may want to do more than think about girding your loins. There is one, an ememy afoot, prowling more than just around, and his mission is not ushering in shalom, but devouring what is good (1 Peter 5:8).

¹ https://www.breitbart.com/education/2022/07/11/los-angeles-unified-school-district-provides-lesson-plans-that-promote-child-transgenderism/

It is not unique, I suppose, to reflect upon things after one’s birthday. As I sit and write tonight, the thunderstorms have recently moved through my area. I can smell the grass that was mown earlier today. And I can see a couple of wooly clouds hovering between the moon and me, moving very slowly. A few stars are becoming visible. It is balmy and still very humid. I have had a good supper, talked with several friends, and am now reading and writing until I fall asleep. And tomorrow I get to play golf with my loved ones and create more good memories. But for what it is worth, here are a few reflections:

1. I recognize and appreciate God’s providence more and more the older I grow. What do I mean? The older I get, the more I understand that I control very little of my life. I make plans, sure. I go to work on time. I have my ambitions, etc. But I have learned that God is big and I am small.
2. I have learned that it is a blessing to do what you love. I am in Christian ministry. I love it. And I am a soldier, and I love that, too. The fact that I can serve the Lord via serving soldiers and families is one of my great joys.
3. I have learned what God meant when he wrote through Solomon, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22, ESV). I would not want to think of how I would have ended up were it not for my Carrie Jane. She, due to godly parents and the grace of God towards her, has shaped me for the better in ways I cannot adequately articulate.
4. It goes quickly. Sure, like everybody else, I have some long days. Heck, some long years. But overall, life goes quickly. I think it’s one of the reasons I love literature so much. The best of it captures the human spirit, the human soul, that which endures. Life is made of moments, and if we don’t appreciate them appropriately, we tend to forget the blessing that our time is, and how much grace we have been granted.
5. There’s more to do. I still have a lot on my bucket list. I have some goals that I long to accomplish. And, to repeat, # 4 above, time goes quickly.

So I know there’s nothing profound here. But I was feeling reflective and grateful and aware, once again, of the ticking of the clock, and of the call to be faithful while we can.